Mutts

In addition to two wonderful daughters, we also share our home with three dogs:  a relentlessly sweet, achingly simple Brittany, an impetuous yet cowardly Border Collie, and a hopeless joiner of an Australian Shepherd/BC mix.  Together, they form a merry, if somewhat dysfunctional band. 
The Border Collie, through a combination of ambition on her part and apathy from the other dogs, became the alpha very early on in her life.  Perhaps she was not well-prepared for her sudden ascension to power, or perhaps she fell victim to the neuroses to which her breed are subject, but the mantle seems to weigh heavily upon her.  The most minor of squabbles between the dogs pushes her into a lather of indecision; on one hand, she knows she needs to assert her dominance.  On the other, she's aware that if she metes out her justice too enthusiastically, she will herself be disciplined.  The Aussie, in contrast, would love to ascend to the position of alpha, but he has absolutely no idea how.  He seems to have some dim grasp of the fact that it involves being dominant over the other dogs,  but as far as how to accomplish this...well, it beats his pair of jacks.  For whatever reason, he has decided that the Brit, who is quite elderly and blissfully unaware of his surroundings for the most part, is a mortal threat to his plans.  As such, any meeting between the two is punctuated by the Aussie's attempts at growling.  Unfortunately for him, he was not blessed with innate growling ability; in fact, he sounds more like a vacuum cleaner with a clogged hose being raped by a rabid Tasmanian Devil.  An interesting sound to be sure, but not one that inspires fear in all who hear it.  The fact that the Brittany is deaf as a tenpenny nail only adds to the whole experience.  Inevitably, it is the Aussie who yields ground to the Brittany who continues on his way, oblivious to his victory.
It is a befuddled pack that patrols their territory within the confines of our house and yard...