Where to Look

Okay, a couple things this entry is not about. First off, it is not about the want ads or where to find something you may have lost.

Secondly, it is definitely not a guide about where you may cast your gaze should you find yourself in a crowded public showering situation.  So get that thought right out of your heads.  Fucking perverts...

Rather, gentle readers, this post will seek to forestall, once and for all, the classic question of, "When I run, should I look up?  Or down?  Or what?  Hey!  Where are you going?"  Because, you know, some people don't like to talk about running...

My advice is, don't do either.  Look around.  Especially if you wear headphones when you run.  For God's sake, if you do, please take note of your surroundings, particularly if you are not running on some sort of recreational path.  There will be vehicles around, and no matter how stalwart you are, they will squish you like an overripe melon dropped on a sidewalk.  I do not wish for this to happen to you.

Please note, this advice only applies to those of you who prefer to run outside.  There exists a certain subsection of the running community that prefers to run on a treadmill regardless of the weather.  These shiftless poltroons are insurgents, Communists, and likely Episcopalians.  You should have no truck with them whatsoever.

It's amazing what you can see if you just pay attention.  Just today, as I was taking one of my frequent runs through Woodland Cemetery, I happened upon a fox.  She was beautiful.  Her coat was lush, her tail was luxuriant, her black stockings were in stark relief to the red of the rest of her.  But enough about the hooker I saw on my way over there, let's talk about the fox...

In all seriousness, it was a wonderful moment.  I would not be surprised if the fox had a den somewhere nearby.  The purposeful aimlessness with which she ran away from me, looking over her shoulder to make sure I was following, led me to believe she was trying to steer me away from a certain locale.  Finally, after being satisfied that I was not going to plunder her den and grievously injure her kits, she settled into some tall grass next to an old, decrepit tomb set into a hillside.  Soon, I could see nothing but her ears and her bright eyes peering out at me.  When I ran by again a few minutes later, she was still there.  That's the sort of thing you miss if you don't pay attention.

So, to recap:  There are myriad reasons to be aware of your surroundings when out for a run.  First and foremost, it will most likely prevent you from wandering into the path of some motorized conveyance that is much larger and carrying a great deal more momentum than you.  The mere possibility of reducing your chances of being turned into a random collection of disconnected organs and tissues should be more than enough.  And if suicide is your goal, there are much cleaner ways of accomplishing this.  I recommend guns.  Drugs are too chancy; you might miscalculate the dosage and just have a good time.

Additionally, you can see and experience way more if you look around once in a while.  Take Ferris Bueller's advice...don't miss it.  Let the scenery be your guide.  Allow the birds to be your soundtrack.  Look at the clouds; see the forest for the trees.  Watch that dog taking a dump on someone else's lawn.  Watch closely; make the owner squirm a little bit.  Maybe then they'll actually clean up after their animal.  Memorize license plate numbers...never know when they might come in handy.  Daydream.  Make up stories about what you see around you.  Why is that couple at the bus stop arguing?  How did that raincoat end up in that bush?  Reflect.  Ask yourself questions to which you don't know the answers.  Relive that freaky bondage dream you had last night.  Try to figure out why it starred Billy Dee Williams.  Ponder life's great mysteries.  But most of all, for the love of Mike, look the hell around.  There's an awesome world out there.  Experience it.